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Getting Ready for Parenthood

As important as it is to plan ahead and prepare for parenthood, it is impos-sible to be completely ready. Even those who feel ready, willing, and able, whohave had all their checkups, have gone to the childbirth classes, and have deckedout the nursery to look like a designer showcase may be thrown a major curve-ball with the arrival of their new baby. An unexpected physical abnormality, asudden medical problem during or after delivery, or perhaps a difficult temper-ament in an otherwise normal child can turn the lives of the most well-equippedparents inside out.

For most parents, there is never a perfect time to have a baby. There will al-ways be problems and circumstances to deal with: education, career paths,money, living space, health problems, and most of all, the basic maturity to nur-ture a child—especially the first one. Unfortunately, our culture has become sofixated on idealized notions of what constitutes a "w-anted" pregnancy that in theUnited States there is one abortion for every three babies born.

Many women have not actually been trying to become pregnant when theyfind out they are carrying a child, and a number are in difficult circumstances.This is a particularly acute issue when the mother is young, single, and limited inresources. Those who need help dealing with the circumstances surroundingtheir pregnancy should not have to fend for themselves. Over the past decade,hundreds of independent crisis pregnancy centers have been established acrossNorth America, all dedicated to helping pregnant women (both single and mar-ried) and those close to them tackle challenges of pregnancy and parenthood.Their services, all given without charge, range from locating a shelter and medi-cal care to providing baby supplies and single-parent support groups.

The bottom line is that circumstances will never be perfect. No pregnancy,childbirth, or newborn baby will be flawless. But one major advantage of havingnine months between conception and delivery is that it allows both Mom andDad time to adjust and prepare for this major change in their lives. With time toreflect and draw on inner resources and assistance from family and community,'the most turbulent beginnings of parenthood can ultimately have a successfuloutcome.

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