Information on Getting Baby to Sleep

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Getting Baby to Sleep

For those parents who don't want to wait twelve weeks, there are two basic, butquite different, approaches to helping this baby—or, for that matter, any baby—fall asleep. Each approach has advocates who tend to view their ideas as vital to a happy, stable life for both parent and child, while seeing the other as producingtroubled, insecure babies. In reality, both have something to offer, and neitherwill work for every baby-parent combination.

One method calls for parents to be intimately and directly involved in allphases of their baby's sleep. Proponents of this approach recommend that shebe nursed, cuddled, rocked, and held continuously until she has fallen asleepfor at least twenty minutes. She can then be put down in her customary sleep-ing place, which may be Mom and Dad's bed. The primary advantage of thisapproach is that it can help a baby navigate through drowsiness and REMsleep in the comfort and security of closeness to one or both parents. Thosewho favor this approach claim that a baby does best when she has more or lesscontinuous contact with a warns body, having just exited from the inside ofone. Those who challenge this approach argue that she may become so accus-tomed to being "manipulated" into sleep that she will not he able to fall asleepon her own for months or even years. Every bedtime or nap time will thusturn into a major project, and parents (or whoever is taking care of the baby)will he hostage to a prolonged routine of feeding and rocking well into the toddler years.

The other approach suggests that a baby can and should learn to "self-calm" and fall asleep on her own. Rather than nursing her to sleep, she can befed thirty to sixty minutes before nap or bedtime and then put down beforeshe is asleep. She may seem restless for fifteen or twenty minutes or even be-gin crying but will likely settle and fall asleep if left alone. Proponents of self-calming feel this approach frees Mom and Dad from hours of effort to settletheir baby and allows the baby to become more flexible and independent,without her security being dependent on their immediate presence at alltimes. Critics argue that leaving her alone in a bassinet or crib represents crueland unusual treatment at such a young age. Some even suggest that this re-peated separation from parental closeness leads to sleep disorders (or worse)later in life.

You may be relieved to know that neither of these methods was carved instone on Mount Sinai along with the Ten Commandments. You should tailoryour approach to your baby's unique temperament and style and to your (andyour family's) needs. Whatever you do will probably change over time as well.What works for your first baby may fail miserably for the second, and what helpsthis month may not the next. When dealing with newborns and very young in-fants, a fair amount of adjusting and pragmatism are not only wise but necessary.

'Let's see if this works" is a much more useful approach than "We have to do ithis way," except for a few ground rules dealing with safety.

Most babies give clues when they are ready to sleep—yawning, droopy eye-, fussiness—and you will want to become familiar with your child's particu-hr signals. If she is giving you these cues, lay her down in a quiet, dimly litietting and see if she will fall asleep. If she is clearly unhappy after fifteen ortwenty minutes, check on her. Assuming that she is fed and dry, comfort her forNhile and try again. If your baby is having problems settling herself, especiallyduring the first few weeks of life, do not attempt to "train" her to do so by kt-g her cry for long periods of time. During the first few months of life, it is un-wise, for many reasons, to let a baby cry indefinitely without tending to her. Babiesthis stage of life cannot be "spoiled" by adults who are very attentive to theirseeds.

If you need to help your new baby transition into quiet sleep, any of thesele-honored methods may help:

• Nursing (or a bottle, if using formula) may help induce sleep, especiallyat the end of the day. However,
(a)Don't overfeed with formula or, worse, introduce solids such ascereal at this age in hopes of inducing a long snooze. A stomach that istoo full will interfere with sleep as much as an empty one. Solids areinappropriate at this age and will not lengthen sleep.
(b)Never put a baby to bed with a bottle propped in her mouth. Notonly can this lead to a choking accident, but it also allows milk to flowinto her eustachian tubes (which lead into the middle ears), increasingher risk of ear infections.

• Rocking gently while you cuddle your baby can calm both of you. If thisworks for your baby, relax and enjoy it. A comfortable rocking chair isa good investment, by the way, if one hasn't been handed down fromearlier generations of your family.

• One alternative to the rocking chair is a cradle—again, rocked smoothlyand gently. Another alternative is a baby swing, but it must be one that isappropriately designed for this age-group.

• Many new babies settle more easily if they are swaddled—wrappedsnugly in a light blanket.

• Quiet sounds such as the whirring of a small fan (not aimed toward thebaby), a tape or CD recording of the ocean, or even small devices thatgenerate monotonous "white noise" may help settle your baby andscreen out other sounds in the home. For the musically inclined, there are several lovely anthologies of lullabies, quiet classical music, or gospelsongs and hymns that might soothe a fussy baby.

• A gentle touch, pat, or massage may help settle a baby who is drowsy inyour arms but squirmy in her bed.

• Many babies routinely fall asleep when they are continuously jostledduring a car ride. Occasionally a frustrated parent who is dealing with awakeful baby during the night may take her out for a 3 A.M. automobiletrip—although this does not guarantee that she will stay asleep once theride is over. Since staggering out into the night isn't much fun, especiallyin the dead of winter, some high-tech baby catalogues offer a device thatattaches to a crib and simulates the motion of a car. Needless to say, bothof these measures should be considered only as last-resort maneuvers fora very difficult sleeper.

All of the above, except for the white noise and the swaddling, involveongoing parental activity to help settle a baby. In some situations, however,prolonged rocking, jostling, patting, and singing may be counterproductive,keeping a baby awake when she needs less stimulation in order to settledown. If a few weeks of heroic efforts to induce sleep don't seem to be work-ing, it may he time to take another look at self-calming. Steps that may helpthe self-calming process when a baby has been put down but is not yet asleepinclude the following:
•Guide a baby's flailing hand toward her mouth. Many infants settle effec-tively by sucking on their hand or fingers.
•Identify a simple visual target for the baby's gaze such as a single-coloredsurface; a small, nonbreakable mirror in her crib; or a nearby window ornight-light and place her in a position where she can see it. (Complexvisual targets such as moving mobiles or busy patterns may not be asuseful for settling during the earliest weeks, especially when a baby isvery tired.)

• But make sure she is on her back before falling asleep.

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