Information on Baby Stranger Anxiety

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Baby Stranger Anxiety

While no two babies interact with the rest of humanity in exactly the same there are distinct trends you will likely notice during this very eventful six-ni period. At six months of age and for the next two or three months thereafter, l^ tend to socialize easily with the world at large. As you walk by a seven- or who is peering over someone's shoulder in the church foyer, flash a ind you'll probably get one in return. This sunny responsiveness—to just about anyone—is pleasant and certainly endearing, but it won't last forever. It Lies not mean that a baby is equally attached to every grown-up on the All the attention and care that have been given at home have been mak. a. profound impact, and the bonds of attachments for the immediate family continue to strengthen during these important months.

As early as six months of age, but usually between eight to twelve months, a new will develop. Your baby, who may have seemed so comfortable around evie., will begin showing anxiety among unfamiliar people. The approach of rmeone new or someone she hasn't seen for a while will provoke a wide-eyed usually followed by wailing and clinging to you for protection. This is . ecl stranger anxiety. This behavior may bother Aunt Mary, who hasn't seen your baby yet and was :ing a warm embrace from her newest niece. Since fear of strangers is universal as the first birthday approaches and continues well into the second year, both you and Aunt Mary should relax about it. In fact, a simple strategy can help her and your baby get acquainted.

First, Aunt Mary shouldn't try to touch, kiss, or hold the baby right away. In fact, even a direct return of your baby's stare may set off a healthy cry. Instead, you chat with Aunt Mary as if nothing else is going on. Let your baby see that someone you are comfortable with, and let her get used to the sight of this le, arson in your home. After a while, some simple exchanges of looks, touches, -entually play will likely begin as Aunt Mary becomes one of the gang.

The flip side of stranger anxiety is separation anxiety, an increased unwillingness to be separated from the main caregiver—usually (but not always) Mom. Your baby may begin to cry when you simply step into another room for a moment or put her into her crib for a nap. If and when she's about to be left with a or a sitter, the crying may escalate into a wailing and clinging session of spectacular proportions.

Separation issues can turn into an emotional upheaval for parents and baby alike. On one hand, it's nice to know that your child thinks so highly of you, so - ,'ak. But having your baby/toddler cling to you like superglue, or hearing a :ged chorus of protest every night at bedtime, or wondering whether you :ave a night (or weekend) away without massive guilt can begin to feel like a ball and chain.

Your approach to this development should be, first of all, to avoid extremes. Some parents, especially with the first baby, feel that their supreme calling is to prevent their child from having one minute of unhappiness. Whatever it takes to prevent crying they will do, and whatever the baby seems to will provide, immediately and without question. But this is an exerciseand a setup for creating an overindulged, selfish, and miserable child. Conversely. parents who take a very controlling approach to child rearing may no:concerned about separation anxiety. But they also run the risk of being tive and neglectful of a young child's emotions in general. Both approachesout a path of least resistance that may seem to work for now but may alsoa terrible price in the future.

Since you are no doubt sensitive to your child's emotions but probably don't .want to feel entirely controlled by her cries and moods, you'll be relievedthat separation anxiety is a normal phase of development. It's virtu_evitable, but you can buffer its impact. For example, if a sitter is cominghome, take an approach similar to the one just described for Aunt Ma:- -your sitter arrive a half hour early so she can get acquainted with your ba.:unhurried manner. If you are dropping the baby off at a place that is nev.try to stick around for a while to allow your baby time to explore and ge:tomed to the new environment. When it's time for you to depart, don'temotional fires with a hand-wringing send-off Let your baby get involve in an activity with the caregiver, say a short and sweet good-bye, and then leiyour baby or toddler is going to spend time with a favorite set of grandparent or an aunt and uncle whom she knows well, you may find that your departure barely provokes any response at all.)

The separation process will be much more unpleasant if your babyor hungry. If you can schedule your departure after a nap or a meal, it may go more smoothly. There is no harm in finding a so-called transitional object to serve as a comforting reminder of things that are familiar to her. This can be a soft toy or small blanket, much like the world-famous security blanket belonging to Linus in the "Peanuts" comicOnce this object has been picked out by your child, you may want to btr.plicate (or in the case of a blanket, tear it in half) to have on hand if the e:is lost or in the washer. Thttered, stained, and probably a little smelly, thismay become a treasured souvenir of your child's early years.

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