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Dinner Table Etiquette

No matter how easy-going you mightconsider yourself to be, or how old-fashioned etiquette appears, everyoneconforms to an etiquette within theirsocial circle. Etiquette is really anotherword for manners, which are simply a set of rules developed so that everyoneinstinctively knows what to do incertain situations and can therefore becomfortable within the group. Mannersare constantly changing, however, andcertainly social etiquette is no longer asrigid as it used to be. The overridingpoint of good manners is to beconsiderate to others and to makethem feel at ease, and this is no lesstrue at the table.

Before you lay the table (see thebox, right), decide on whether or notyou would like to include mats withyour table setting. If you have a tablewith a fine polished surface, you maywell want to show it off by using tablemats, and that is acceptable. It is alsoperfectly correct to put a cloth on atable for a formal dinner. Traditionally, this is white, although nowadayscoloured cloths are also used.

When it comes to a seating plan, ifequal numbers of men and women arepresent, they should be seated

Glass Shapes and Sizes

Glasses for different drinks are usuallyof different sizes. They go up in thisorder: liqueur, port, sherry, white wine,red wine, water. Champagne shOuld hesipped from tall, slender glasses, notwide, shallow ones. Water can beserved in a tumbler. It is normal nowadays to provide glasses for waterand a jug of water at every meal.

Alternately in a way that the host and hostess feel will make for the best conversation. Place cards can be used if desired or needed. For very formal dinners, the whole name of the guest,including the title, should be used:

Dr, Mrs, Miss, Ms, Mr. On less formaloccasions, using just the first name is equally correct.

Serve each guest from the left.Although a formal dinner will probablyhe attended by a number of waiters andwaitresses, this is not viable for mostpeople, so pass the dishes around fromthe left, instead. This leaves the righthand of each of the guests free to dothe helping. Then, once the maincourse is over, clear the table ofeverything to do with it - includingcondiments - before serving dessert.

Laying the Table

Formal tables are laid according totraditional etiquette, the purposebehind the ordered positions of all theitems being the smooth running of themeal. More informal meals certainly donot have to adhere rigidly to the rules:indeed, many restaurants 'break therules' to create more imaginative settings. However, the correct way tolay a formal table is outlined here.

Cutlery (flatware) should he laid oneither side of the plates so thatimplements for the first course are onthe outside, with those for subsequentcourses arranged so that diners canwork in towards the plates as cadscourse arrives. Forks go on the left sideand knives on the right. If the firstcourse needs just a fork, this will he puton the outside at the left, despite thefact that most guests will use it in theirright hand. Butter knives may be puton side plates, and dessert spoons andforks may he placed on either side ofthe table mat or it.

When just one glass is used, place it the knife or knives. Where morethan one is used, these can be arrangedin order from left to right or from rightto left, or in a triangular pattern the knife. It is correct to set all the glasses on the table before the mealbegins. However, if there is not enoughspace, port and liqueur glasses can bebrought to the table when they areneeded at the end of the meal and thetable has been cleared of everythingthat was needed for the main course.

Place the bread-and-butter plate tothe left of the place setting. Warmplates are brought to the table as theyare needed. If the starter is cold, it canhe placed on the table before the guestsare invited to he seated.

Finally, place salt and peppercontainers on the table at regularintervals so that they are within easyreach of everyone. If nor placing in theactual serving dish, servers should be laid within easy reach of them.